Love thyself, and don’t be sorry!

“Be yourself, but always your better self.” ~ Karl G. Maeser

Researches show that abiding by the general opinions is the biggest and the prominent trait of a people pleaser. Majority of us have a latent people pleaser lurking inside of us. As we grow and mature we want to feel more important and needed in the process putting everyone else before ourselves. Many times we just say a “yes” thinking we could that way contribute to someone else’s life.

We at times misconstrue that our ability to please others guarantees us a spot. Staying in other people’s good graces, being on their good side, and acting obediently is an assurance that they won’t find a reason to discard you. Everyone deserves to be loved, but not at the cost of losing ourselves. This kind of love embodies an unconscious agreement and includes an exchange that never ends up being fair or even.

Do we really need to do this? Do we really need to care about what others think about our new little black dress or red colored T-shirt?

Do we need to really color our hair because someone else can spot a wiry silver hair sticking out from our heads? Come on! We don’t need anybody’s validation for every little selection of ours. 

Attending to our own needs cannot be accounted for as a selfish or a self-absorbed trait, all the time. Listening to our own selves and satisfying our personal needs is immensely critical because, in the process of doing so, we do apply our principles, high standards, and values.

There will always be someone ready to take us off-track with their baseless opinions and judgments. But the question is why should we try to fit into someone else’s picture? or Why should we forget who we are or may be why should we toss away our set of likes/dislike just because someone else wants us to be like them?

We really need to stop seeking everyone’s approval for the choices we make, as a first step towards showering some self-love.

When we start loving ourselves un-apologetically,

• • • we learn to ignore the pointless remarks thrown at us like “ain’t that lip color too loud for your age?” or “that cologne is screaming for some serious attention” and stop looking for validations from outside.
    • we learn to say “No” with a conviction and don’t brood and regret over saying so.
    • we realize that we have a specific taste and stand by it.
    • we understand that we will never be able to please everybody. Never! It’s impossible, it can’t be done!
    • we embrace the real us, accept it, own it, love it.
    • we don’t compare ourselves to others, don’t try to be different, don’t try to be something else just so we can fit in.
    • of course, we get rid of toxic people.

After all being your better self also comes with the responsibility of shedding the extra baggage that’s holding you back. At the end of the day its all about freeing ourselves from the shackles of fear and insecurities and reflecting the real us, spreading the wisdom we gather over the years and brightening the lives of others as well with positivity without being sorry.